Ellie Goulding - Every Time You Go

It starts with a picture

And it sits in your frame

And we part with a letter

And it ends in my name

It starts with forever

And it ends with a touch

And I know that you're clever

And I don't ask for much

Maybe we forgot 

All the things we were

We were together 

Wake me up

Wake me up

Stop my fall

Everytime you go

Tape me up

Then break me up

Ever so gently

When I'm my weakest

Then it's not so hard

Everytime you go

You said I'm arresting

You said I had heat

I really tohught that we would go further

The second time we'd meet

Now I'm tired of trying to keep you

All I want to do is sleep

But perhaps when I'm sleeping

You'll get back on your feet

Maybe we forgot, are we awake, or not?

Maybe we forgot...

Decisive Drafting

This is going to change things, and so it needs to be good.

I will write a letter here showing everything I feel, and then once it is all out, I will decide what to do with it.

There might be flowers again. There might be a CD.

There might be the usual cliché rubbish I do to show people I care. But this time it is going to mean something, it won't be done for show. It will finally be for my own benefit, not because I am trying to make anyone think any more or less of me.

Leona Lewis - I Got You

This song is complete and utter pap.
I don't appreciate it at all for it's musical merits.

I don't even like it at all.

But in my current state, the lyrics are relateable and that is why it is here.

In the future, I'm sure I will look this this and think;

WHAT A FUCKING PUSSY YOU WERE.

A place to crash
I Got You 

No need to ask 

I Got You 

Just get on the phone 

I Got You 

Come and pick you up 

If I have to 

Whats weird about it 

Cause were right at the end 

Mad about it 

Just figured it out in my head 

Im proud to say 

I Got U 

Go ahead and say goodbye 

I'll be alright 

Go ahead and make me cry 

I'll be alright 

And when you need a place 

To run to 

For better or worse 

I Got You 

We're falling apart 

Lets be bigger than that 

And remember 

The cold outdoors 

We were both alone 

Both surviving 

No drama no need for a show 

Just wanna say; 

I Got You

Play Dead

Corinne Bailey Rae - Diving for Hearts

Till then I wasn't alive, 

I longed for you like the lovesick moon pulls the tide. 

So I peeled off my skin, 

I just slipped right in 

And I become alive. 

'Cause down here there's no fear 

There's no cause for panic 

There's just bright cold calm, 

I feel no harm. 

This underwater feeling's abandon and it fires my heart. 

Was it emotion 

Or should I just keep on diving, 

Keep on diving down? 

Under this ocean 

I long to keep on diving, 

Till my heart is found. 

It's got a hold on me. 

Can't forget the things I've seen...

World will all end 

And new worlds will begin 

It's a thought so stark. 

We're at once determinant, 

Yet so insignificant, 

Spinning out in the velvet dark. 

Still, down here 

There's no fear 

There's no cause for panic 

There's just this bright cold calm 

Yeah, it leaves a scar 

So show me how to find again, 

If I'm lost, show me where you are.

'Adrian' by Gihan Tubbeh

Adrian is an autist.

Gihan won the World Press Photo Prize for Adrian's story in 2009.

Musings on Jellyfish

So I watched the film 'Seven Pounds' tonight.

And after all the sentimentality, shmultz, shock plot twists and 'this should make you cry and think about your life' ending, the main thing I got from this is how freaking weird jellyfish are.

I know (and have been told) about how they are probably stunted in some evolutionary way, but my god. What happened? They are barely there. What are they here for?

I often wonder how certain things work, and how certain odd animals or living things survive. Jellyfish sting their prey to death, then pull it up through tentacles and pretty much just decompose it inside themselves. Which may be a backwards, simplistic way of exactly what we do, but it sure as hell looks a lot weirder when they do it.

Don't get me wrong, I ain't no hater. I'm fascinated.

What Happened

I was aimlessly ambling along in this quite nice relationship, and I was content. Happy, and most definitely content. It wasn't blowing my mind instantly like things have before, but I found myself appreciating the fact that I didn't have to worry or assess myself far more of a comfort than the sudden instantness of past relationships.

I literally had no complaints.

So why did this happen? Why did I have to start the test?

I literally can't just let something lie, I have to push it to breaking point so I know it's true value.

And by doing that, I've devalued everything it stood for before.

I want it back, of course I do. I felt totally in control and positive about where it was going. I felt committed, and I will be the first to admit that commitment is something I struggle with. But there is this thing that still has me drawn in. It feels very similar to how it was left before, being stuck in 'limbo' while someone else makes the decision. I'm not even sure how I am in this situation - I was brave, and was the one who stated 'we aren't together now'.

I'm shitting myself, because this was supposed to be a test of how much I should mean to him.

How long is a test supposed to last?

Are we both singing from the same hymn-sheet?

Wait... have we actually broken up?

Shit...

Won't Go Quietly

"Ignored the warnings,

Bit the fruit.

It might have tasted good....

But man, it was my kryptonite."

Elliot John Gleave aka. Example

Diana Vickers - Once

Yeah... your guess is as good as mine.

I can't explain my turnaround on this at all, other than this song is VERY GOOD.

I know she 'wrote' it (read: nodded along) with Kathy Dennis, who is generally quite good at writing good, but most likely quite throwaway pop songs. Which is pretty much the story of my life.

 And while I know in a month's time this will probably sound like shit to me, I am enjoying it while it lasts.

Long live the claw!