Grey Gardens

Edith "Big Edie" Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith "Little Edie" Bouvier Beale were the aunt and first cousin of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. The two women lived together at Grey Gardens for decades with limited funds, resulting in squalor and almost total isolation.

I started watching this when I was half asleep, and was so intrigued by it. I was really disappointed I didn't get to see more of it, the relationships between the two women was documented in such a raw, unaltered way that you couldn't help but be intrigued by them. I will watch this again.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Things that are bad (good) about this film:

- Debbie Gibson and her cheeks
- a shark that jumps out of the water to eat a jet
- food colouring liquid cures
- interracial scientist love
- over-use of the same shots to 'set the scene'
- grainy stock footage
- amazing CGI
- sunset speeches covered in cheese
- flashwipes
- 'advanced underwater technology' (sonar noises)
- shark eats the Golden Gate Bridge
- 'I am against nukes, but if we make them kill each other that is okay i guess.'
- 'intersection' as a euphamism for fucking

March of the Penguins

Basement Jaxx - Scars

It's ALL about Chipmunk.

Distance, it grows now

You don't, reach for me

All I got, all I got

Is my scars

Save me, give me wings to fly

Make me your reason to fight

Sign my name across your heart

Remember me into the night

Kiss me then I'll wake up

Kiss me then I'll wake up

Kiss me then I'll wake up

Fairy tales make up

Headlight, black demons

Peering in my hollow core

Grudges they're strangling

and splinters and dry skin

Streetlights they see me

The whole world will reach for me

All I got, all I got

Is my scars

I'll kiss then you'll wake up

Don't want you to meet your maker

And you don't believe in fairy tales

Well today I'm gonna make ya

Cause I've come here to save ya

Fear none of that miss, I'ma take ya

I can rap I can rhyme like karma

Be your night in shining armor

Oh no I aint got no Porsche

Just give me a shield and a sword and a horse

And I'll come ridin' ridin' ridin'

Give me a little one on the back

I'ma tell a lie and get you on back

I'ma tell a lie and get you on back

It's gone right from fiction to fact

I'm gonna take you out this world

Britney Spears for Elle

'I was born to make you happy.'

Alicia Keys - The Element of Freedom

And the day came
When the risk it took
To remain tight and closed in the bud
Was more painful
Than the risk it took to grow.
This is the element of freedom.

I always liked her... but recently she's faded in and out of obscurity after releasing the first single from any campaign. Not sure what made me download this... but I'm so glad I did. It's really good.

Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart

'even if you were a million miles away

I can still feel you in my bed

near me, touch me, feel me.

And even at the bottom of the sea

I can still hear you in my head

near me, touch me, feel me.'

Un-thinkable

'A moment of honesty
Someone's gotta take the lead tonight
Whose it gonna be?
I'm gonna sit right here
And tell you all that comes to me
If you have something to say
You should say it right now
You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore
And I can't take it'

Love is my Disease

'When you're gone it feel like

My whole world leaves with you

I though love would be my cure

But now it's my disease

I try to act mature, but I'm a baby when you leave.'

Lindsay Lohan for Muse

Bristol

Something amazing has happened.

Weird Things (or 'An Unshamed Dramatic Vomit')

Things are socially horrible at the moment. And through no fault of my own. Observe.

1. Chris

The obvious. I still feel totally powerless to do anything about this, even though it is overtaking my thoughts and is without doubt the most important thing in my life at the moment, which is so ridiculous considering the amount of work I should be concentrating on. This is nothing like I've ever felt before, I am fine to get on everyday and do what I need to, but I feel physically changed inside, like something is definitely gone. I've had awful breakups in the past, but I now know that they were so awful because there was so much bad blood surrounding them. There is nothing wrong with this one, and I'm not sure if that's what makes it harder, or if I just can't admit the truth yet. I think I might have been in love.

2. Darryl and Matt

This one is shortlived, I'll be over it in a couple of days. But I can't help feeling a bit disgusted by it. I can hide behind the 'you're a weird childsnatcher' stance, which does have it's own truths and merits, as there is a large 6 year age gap, even though the social and moral ages are probably quite similar. I don't know what it is with Darryl that gets to me so much, maybe it's because of his age that I feel a little responsible. Maybe it's the fact that, while I know I'm not really that interested, I still feel a bit put out that we've had so many opportunities, but nothing has ever happened between us. Then I think... maybe this will be the thing that will bring them both into the real world, properly. No more messing around, an actual real relationship and emotion from the both of them. I know I can feel nothing but pity for Matt, but I can't help but want something good for him, even if it finally makes him grow up and accept responsibility for what an awful, awful person he's been to me. We have to let it go though, don't we?

3. Russell Hayward

I don't know if I'm ready. The attention is nice, but I feel awful when he flirts. I can't give him anything back, and I think he is quite aware. I will go, and I will be good company and I will try to be 100% and act like I'm together and would be an amazing boyfriend. But I don't think I can put my heart in it. Plus... he's Darryl's best mate. All kinds of sick double dating scenarios are rolling around in my head, and I don't want to be tarred with the same brush I know so many people have painted with. Fuck. Not even one date and I'm already thinking of reasons to back out. Man up.

4. 'Everybody text J weekend'

David. Jack. Scott. John. Shaun.

And ALL of them without any prompting or conversation. Since I have vowed to 'forgive and forget, but leave the past in the past', I have found it so much easier to let these people go. Yeah, I have the blips where I  scrounge around to try and find some kind of link between us, but when I find there isn't I'm usually quite satisfied. In these people's heads though, I'm still that person that always leaves the door open, and always has a smile for them. And that person ALWAYS ends up getting the door slammed in their face pretty soon after. I text 3 of 5 back. Which is pretty much a fail.

5. Thom and Stuart

I got confirmation that it actually happened. I still think about Thom all the time, he is the literal definition of 'the one that got away', and probably always will be. The way Thom explained the situation to me really shocked me though... I never realised Stuart has made anyone else feel that trapped before. In my head, I know it was just a one night stand between them (and not even that, Stuart would still never actually have sex with anyone), but with talk of drugging and not remembering what went on from Thom, I really don't know. I hate that I have to admit that I don't really know Stuart, and probably never did. That I relied on someone for so much, without really knowing them at all. I don't think any of us do. I don't think he even does. What I do know, is that Thom will be in my life no matter what he does. He's fit, and he's funny, and I'm okay with having him consistently fuck up in front of me, but still come back every now and again and tell me how much of a good, yet brief boyfriend I was. One day, eh?

6. Nathan Rutherford

WHY DID I HAVE A SEX DREAM ABOUT NATHAN RUTHERFORD?!

=(